A miracle: a quiet night at home with no work to do. So why don't I just make more work for myself and make a couple of blog entries. Me and my computer - attached at the hip.

So, I mentioned a couple of photo projects in this afternoons entry. I'm going to write about them, but first I've been dying to write a blog with this heading, which is a quote from a Killers song, and maybe also from an old Queen song(?). I've been listening to The Killers a lot this week (thanks to the person at the wedding for recommending them) and love that song with it's gospel choir belting out the chorus.

I love the line because it's totally how I've been feeling lately. I'm so proud of everything I have done in my life, all my achievements - small and large, the life I have created for myself, by myself. But bejeezus, sometimes it's so damn hard there are times I stand at the stations and imagine hurling myself in front of a fast moving train (don't panic people, I'm not suicidal, I just IMAGINE doing it) so I can just get away from all the shit. Stop my brain from thinking, my nerves from snapping, my heart from yearning. Escaping the disappointments of life. That's why music is so useful. It really does take you away - even if it's only for 3 minutes at a time. My ipod and I are also attached at the hip....

So yeah. I got soul but I'm not a soldier. La la la. Get me to a quiet beach with a bunch of old friends and an esky full of booze and a BBQ full of marinated tofu and a cool sound system.

I spent some time this afternoon at my travel agents office in Shibuya booking my summer travel flights. I have 2 specific tasks this summer. (wow, how long have I been away from Australia that I am calling July/August summer!?) I am going to visit my friend Tenzin Phenthok at the Tibetan Childrens Village School in Dharamsala. She's in her final year of school and is growing up fast. She still wants to be a doctor. While there I hope to do a short tour of Rhajastan. I know it's going to be hot. I don't care. I just survived 6 months of fucking winter. And am still wearing a big coat. Grrr.

The next task is a one month TESOL/TEFL course in Phuket. I am so excited about this. It's going to be amazing to just get to live in Phuket for a month. It's also going to be rewarding to study more about education and teaching English. When I get back to Japan in September, I'm going to be sitting down and having a big long look at my life here and making a decision about whether to stay or go, and where to go to next if I do decide to leave.

My not-a-soldier soul is in need of some excitement.